Having a personal, in-person conversation with a former head of BPOM was never on my 2025 bingo list—yet, last Tuesday, I checked it off. We had a great 90-minute conversation over lunch at Champaca Coffee and Eatery, covering campus life, personal matters, and work. I won’t mention their name for privacy reasons, so I’ll refer to them as

Growing up in a family that rarely appreciated my achievements openly, I developed a strong need for validation, something that still lingers until now. I recognise that the need for other's approval will be detrimental to some extent to my mental health; however, here I am: still experiencing butterflies in my stomach every time I get validation from

I have been stuck in this conflicted feeling for a while: want to be connected to others, yet at the same time, I don't want to talk with them. Sometimes I find myself scrolling through my contacts to see with whom I can chat. But after initiating the text or conversation, I quickly lost interest. That's why I'm

Lately, "anxious" is the word I use and feel the most, I guess. In my last post, I wrote that I was anxious waiting for the LSHTM's decision on my application. Finally, a glimmer of hope arrived on 8 February. Seeing a conditional offer on my portal application made my day. The thing is, I've fulfilled the condition

James Clear in his book Atomic Habits said that our actions reveal how bad we want something. I realised that my motivation to regularly write in this blog might not be strong enough since it has been almost 4 months since my last post. I have hundreds of brain dumps to write and countless inner chatter in my

Hari ini emosi dan interaksi sosial yang saya rasakan intens sekali. Pada pukul 08.00-09.00 saya menjalani wawancara tahap akhir suatu beasiswa (saya harus bersiap dari satu jam sebelumnya). Selanjutnya pada pukul 10.00 saya diminta menjadi chairperson pada kegiatan simulasi sidang/konferensi internasional. Saya sedang menjalani pelatihan di Bandung, jauh dari rumah, jauh dari Arina. I cried as I typed

Setelah kejadian 26 Juni 2024, aku jadi jauh lebih aware dengan diri sendiri dan ingin segera memperbaiki semuanya saat itu juga. Sadar kalau baju itu-itu saja, langsung pengen beli baju. Sadar kalau belum lancar nyetir, langsung impulsif daftar les nyetir (lagi). Impulsif mau daftar kelas academic writing juga. Lalu beli seabrek skincare dan make up dan paket treatment.

Today is Wednesday, 25 July 2024. We had an event with BPOM provincial offices at Shangri-La Surabaya since yesterday. There were some experiences that boost my mood. Had the chance to talk with Pak Roy Sparringa. He even followed me back on Insta and he gave "like" to my post. My close friend during short-course said that I was beautiful in

Between the two common responses to problems—fight or flight—I often choose the latter. It’s not that this response helps me solve the problem; rather, I sometimes lack the mental strength to face them.So here I am: opening my old blog, taking courses, reading books, spending more time with friends, etc etc. I know I can't do this forever.