Survived the first week as an LSHTM postgrad student, yaay!

Hi. My head is filled with voices and chatter. When I was on the tube this evening, I wanted to be home soon to sit in front of my laptop and try to untangle them one by one by writing about it in this blog. 

However, right now, I don't know where to start; my brain starts overcomplicating everything, worrying that I wouldn't be able to make good paragraphs, and deliver my messy voice inside this head to a blog post. But I know I need to write this. 

So, here it goes. 

It's been 19 days since I arrived at 19 Glasgow Road, London. The first week was heaven: school hadn't started yet, plenty of time to spend with my own self, the sun was still out, so the temperature wasn't too chilly yet. I finally stepped out of this house on Day Two (still struggling with jet lag at this point) to do some grocery shopping. Third day, I tried my tube route to the campus, and fourth day (or was it fifth?) I went to Kak Citra's house to drop off the butternut (is kemiri a butternut in English? or is it candlenut?)

Week 2 was the welcoming week at the university. I was overwhelmed by all the new names and faces, the information overload (about school), and the sheer amount of socialising. However, this was a super fun week, my programme even had a field trip to Reading. We walked along the River Thames, played games, stayed there for a night, and had good meals and conversation. I instantly loved my programme directors (hi, Hannah, Simon, Daniel!). 

MSc Public Health for Global Practice, 2025-26 Cohort

Goring-on-Thames, Reading

Week 3 was when my class started. I learned that my classes always run from Monday morning (9.30 am) and right through the evening (5.30 pm). This is a bit different from the other MSc programmes. There are so many assignments and reading materials, and also group presentations. So far, I'm enjoying Extended Epidemiology and Health Policy: Process and Power (this class is a bit intimidating, though). Health Economics is also interesting. That leaves two other modules: Statistics and Principles for Social Research. I'm still figuring out how I feel about those two. Maybe by the end of the term, I'll write about the modules again. 

Other than five modules, there are 3 other sessions in a week for my cohort only, MSc Public Health for Global Practice. In these sessions, students do the seminar, and we discuss things about global health and global practice.

To cap off this first week of classes, Putri and I hit up Eat Tokyo in Soho (after we went to Primark and Uniqlo, haha). The sushi was so so tasty and the bento was perfect!

A corner in London, at night

As we walked toward Tottenham Court Road station, Putri said, "It still feels surreal that we're living in London, ya kak."

Indeed, Put. It really does. 

New student card!

Sometimes I still can't believe that I'm living my dream, going to the LSHTM and pursuing my postgraduate study. But the beauty of this surreal moment is that it's real, and it's just the beginning of everything. Week 3 was a reminder that this dream requires hard work - a lot of assignments, sleepless nights, and tons of presentations. I'm excited and a little bit terrified, to be honest. And it's still a little chaotic in here (my head), but I guess that's what happens when you step out of your comfort zone, when you trade your mundane and quiet life for a postgrad education, abroad. 

Sat, 4 October 2025

19 Glasgow Rd

Yesterday was the welcoming day for the international students. It was a bit intimidating because I learnt that my class will be on Mon-Fri from 9-5. This programme is very intensive and I guess I don't have much time left for anything other than study. 

I can feel the trepidation and at the same time, I can also sense the excitement. Let's see how it goes. One thing that I can be sure of, when I was on the tube and looking at London city through the window, I could feel that I belonged here. 

19 Glasgow Rd,

11.23 pm

I experienced a wide range of emotions as the Persiapan Keberangkatan (PK) LPDP ended today. I'm aware that the 9-day pre-departure training wasn't always inspiring, to say the least. Some sessions are cliche and not quite engaging. However, the PK as a whole gave me an understanding of where I stand and where I might be heading. 

Hari ini terasa panjang dan melelahkan sekali. Emosi yang saya rasakan juga sangat beragam dari spektrum positif hingga negatif, tapi di ujung hari ini, ada satu yang menonjol: sedikit rasa gentar menghadapi ketidakpastian masa depan. 

To-do list hari ini tidak semua tercoret, ada satu pekerjaan yang tidak terselesaikan (padahal deadlinenya hari ini). Hari ini ada dua rapat yang tidak terduga: satu diantaranya saya yang mendadak ditugaskan untuk menyusun undangan, membuat pointer, dan menyusun laporan. Rapat tersebut sungguh aneh karena topiknya masih awam bagi para peserta dan harus ada output dalam kurun waktu kurang dari dua minggu. (Neti, I'll be generous with you. I know someday you'll revisit this post and you'll be dying to know what meeting is this. So here's the keyword: ATMP). Rapat selesai pukul 17.00 WIB. Laporan singkat selesai pukul 17.20 WIB. Pukul 18.30 saya sudah harus mengikuti rapat divisi Kesekretariatan PK-259 LPDP. 

Pukul 18.25-an Professor Renier mengirim whatsapp! Sejenak memperbaiki mood dan membuat perasaan menjadi riang. Beliau bilang: "What is news? Missing you in Antwerpen". Beliau juga mengirim foto kelas Pharma Course yang sedang berlangsung. Saya mengupdate progres persiapan sekolah dan beliau bilang tahun depan saya bisa presentasi di Pharma Course 2026 (oh no!)

Di akhir hari, lagi-lagi perasaan imposter menguasai. Saya merasa tidak ada yang benar-benar beres dengan apa yang dikerjakan. Pekerjaan kantor begitu-begitu saja, tidak ada keahlian yang benar-benar saya kuasai (?). Keluarga juga berantakan. Tidak selalu bisa pulang tenggo dan meluangkan waktu untuk anak di hari kerja. Tidak rutin in touch dengan orang tua. Persiapan sekolah masih mandek. Bahasa Inggris bagus di atas kertas doang. Saya mulai sangsi apakah saya punya sesuatu yang ditawarkan ke LSHTM? Apakah saya akan bisa mengikuti jalan yang sudah saya pilih ini? 

A couple of years ago, listening to others' stories was an excruciating experience: my mind would wander and think about other meaningful works I could be doing. Otherwise, I'll wait with a limited amount of patience, waiting for my turn to talk back. I didn't know when it started, but I began to enjoy listening to my colleagues' stories and experiences, even the trivia ones. I didn't find the urge to share mine in those conversations. Yesterday, I spent almost the whole day listening to a colleague. She shared her personal and professional life. From work, family, current and past relationships, and future aspirations. We even moved to another cafe to continue our talks until evening. 

Another thing is, I've also found myself checking in on friends and colleagues through WhatsApp. I apologise too, because I feel that I pushed them away on some occasions before. Yes, I was reluctantly replying to their texts. I only thought about myself, too absorbed by my own life crisis, too busy being a victim. I have a bad history in terms of maintaining friendships, so I try to avoid the same mistakes. I want to cherish the valuable people around me. 

Maybe this subtle shift is just a reflection of being in a good mental state: LPDP granted my program transfer, I’ve managed my workload, my skin’s clearing up, and I’m not on my period. Still, I hope this change lasts. I want to keep working on myself.

PS:

1. The picture above was taken in Exquise Patisserie, Cokro House, Menteng
2. Today is Pak Roy S. Sparringa's birthday: Happy birthday, Pak. May God always bless you and your family abundantly.  

While I'm sure everyone wants to live in peace, the form of peace can vary from one person to another. Some people may portray peace with an empty to-do list, some with living in a suburb, and others with working in a flexible environment. Today, I reflected on what peace looks like to me. And I realised that for me, peace is about waking up with trust in myself. Peace is having confidence. 

I don't dream of an empty to-do list. Instead, I want to wake up one quiet morning and have nothing to worry about, despite the endless list of things to do that day. I want to feel steady, not because life is easy, but because I know I can handle what's coming.

It may seem that "living in peace" for me is kind of everything under my control, but that's not what I mean. It's more like having peace with myself. It's about having well understanding of myself; my strengths, weaknesses, and values I hold, and choosing to be kind to myself in the process. 

Of course, people change and grow, so my ideal form of living in peace might also shift someday. And that's okay. I'll update this when it happens. 

Finally my wait is over! I'll start my master's this September!

Dinner at Cafe de Paris: It was bu Lucky's treat!

An intelligent and well-spoken figure never fails to impress me. They are like sparkling object that catches my attention instantly. So in this brief note, I want to (once again) highlight my admiration toward bu Lucky S. Slamet.

This past year I've been involved in the WHO Listed Authority (WLA) assessment, putting me in several meetings with her, online and in person. Early meetings with her put me in a super anxious state, as I knew she was the former head of the Indonesian FDA. But there was a moment when I finally had a chance to speak and the anxiety began to fade away. Over time, my admiration for her has grown bigger; her intelligence, personal traits, and way of speaking are everything I've been looking up to. 

A more personal experience came when I was in Geneva last November. She invited us, the delegates, to have dinner in a classic French restaurant, Cafe de Paris. It was mostly my director and senior who talked to her, I was more like an observer and listener. However, I really cherish that night because of the many insights I got. I'll always remember Bu Lucky's advice at the end of the conversation: "Having endurance is a must." 

Bu Lucky appreciated my milestone of being accepted as an LPDP awardee. She also asked which university I would apply. I wish someday I'd reach a point where I could confidently and proudly talk to her!

In front of Cafe de Paris; before she took us to Coop

1. I have been stuck in this conflicted feeling for a while: want to be connected to others, yet at the same time, I don't want to talk with them. Sometimes I find myself scrolling through my contacts to see with whom I can chat. But after initiating the text or conversation, I quickly lost interest. That's why I'm writing this now: to channel my need to talk. 
2. I noticed that lately, I'm becoming too judgmental of others, especially when it comes to their behaviour. I'm overly conscious of their gesture, word choice, and expression. I hate that I pay too much attention to such details. Sometimes, it makes me hesitant to connect with them because I dislike their trivial behaviour. 
3. I've been having a nasty cough these past 3 days. I don't like taking medicines so I just put up with it. Because of this cough, I can't function properly today at work. I miss being a kid. I just wanna take a rest and do nothing all day. 
4. I finished reading "Then She Was Gone" by Lisa Jewell. As I wrote on my Goodreads, this book is unsettling and heartbreaking. I think after this I need to pick something light and heartwarming to neutralise these lingering feelings.