The weather is getting colder outside as winter approaches, but my heart feels warm and content. I can’t believe that yesterday marked the end of Term 1 teaching and learning at LSHTM (there are still three exams left, though). It feels as if it was just yesterday that I couldn’t sleep well, worrying about my first day of school, wondering if I would make friends in this faraway place, and questioning my own capacity to follow the lecture.

Yet, here I am now. 

Term 1 wasn't a walk in the park, yet I loved it so much. I enjoyed writing the Health Policy essay, whose language at the beginning sounds like it comes from another world. Epidemiology concepts and those statistical values really tested my patience and confidence, but oddly, it made me want to revise them over and over again. Health Economics left me feeling lost and helpless at times. However, I found myself spending my precious bedtime reading the textbook and watching YouTube videos explaining deadweight loss and monopoly markets. Only to find out those topics weren’t even asked in the exam!! But anyway, it was a rewarding academic journey indeed. 

Tomyum in the middle of grappling Health Economics concepts

Yet, here I am now.  

I visited the Covent Garden Christmas Market with those I can now call my people. I have the best tutor (Hi, Lauren!), in front of whom I could even cry without shame or feeling judged. On the last day of term, I spent hours talking and laughing and smiling with those who quietly coloured my past three months. There were also long conversations at Yuhyeon’s dorm, where we talked about trivial and essential things. And then, there were random calls, texts and small moments that never ceased to make me smile during the tiring days. 

The Covent Garden Christmas Market

I am grateful that I can enjoy all of this despite the uneasy post-graduate journey. I can be too serious sometimes, like when I decided not to join the Christmas party and do my essay instead. I questioned my decision and felt FOMO after seeing the pictures in the Whatsapp group. But I think, even if I had the chance to turn back time, I would still choose to do my essay again and again. And I don’t want to regret this because I know what I am doing (and I still have another Christmas party at school!)

As this is the end of term 1, I want to write down some reflections, and here they are: 

1. Frustrations cannot be eliminated and are unavoidable. However, it can be managed. I can always take a break and prioritise. I may not be able to do everything at once, but I can do everything one step at a time. Some days were so heavy that I went sleep very early (6 pm, once). On other days, I stayed up until 2 am, excitedly studying. Neither is better than the other; it simply depends on what I need that day.
2. Learning can be both frustrating and rewarding. Grappling with new concepts, getting to know unfamiliar territories through reading, scribbling critical thoughts, and filling my thick A4 notebook with colourful Muji pens are experiences I know I will cherish for the rest of my life.  
   
3. Feelings are fleeting. Happiness, sadness, loneliness, frustration, excitement, attachment, anger, infatuation, etc: they don’t last forever. I hope I can never forget to embrace them when they arise. 
4. Journaling matters. Writing helps crystallise memories before they fade. Sometimes it’s scary to face my own thoughts and feelings, and I delay the writing because I’m afraid I won’t do the experience justice. But when I wait too long, the feelings change, become blur or disappear. Writing imperfectly on this blog is one way I can make the moment last for a long, long time. 

Term 1 is over. I know the upcoming terms are more challenging. The block system and starting to think about the summer project will occupy my time 24/7. But right now, I feel at peace, like, I'm doing my best. Somewhere along this journey, I became less afraid of getting lost. I know eventually I'll find my path and everything will fall into place. 

Plaistow

13 December 2025

4:21pm